The first annual Virtual College Football League will begin in a few weeks, and already there's been more drama for your momma. With coaches making surprise signings in Mississippi, bi-sexual allegations in Hawaii, and coaching confusion in Arizona, this league may be the next money making product since XFL.
Let's begin with Hawaii and newly signed Coach JP. With 2 years coaching experience in Akron Zips, JP decided to check under the grass skirts of Hawaii's football program with Heisman QB Colt Brennan leading the helm. His 4 year, undisclosed contract was enough to take the trip to Manoa and implement his 5 WR spread offense. When asked what he looks forward to this season, Coach JP responded, "I can't wait to get lei'd before and after the games. WAC represent!"
Moving East, in what has been considered one of college football's most controversial moves, Coach G has now signed with the Golden Gophers of Minnesota, representing the Big 10. After his press conference on ESPN with then AD of Arizona University and releasing his intent to sign as a 3 year coach with the Wildcats, not even 20 minutes later, he appears on ESPN2 and signs a $32 million dollar contract with Minnesota University. When questioned in his 2nd press conference in 20 minutes, Coach G responded, "What I realized in the last 20 mins is that if I knew that my heart was someplace else in what I wanted to do, I don't think it would be fair to the [Arizona] organization if I stayed."
As for the rest of the colleges involved, Coach Ed is making his way into this league with SEC's southern hospitality as he'll lead the Running Rebels of Ole Miss. Ed comments in his phone interview, "I plan to have a statue 10 times bigger than Bobby Bowden. I'm bigger than Bobby Bowden. F*ck Bobby Bowden."
Coach silverRonin will be rolling the die and taking UNLV to their first college football Championship, ever. "These are good kids with talent. As long as I keep off the strip clubs and away from the casinos, we'll have a shot."
Lastly, Coach Bigs returns from a 3 year hiatus and is in closed door conversation with colleges from different conferences. The rumor mill has him associated to San Diego State University as Mexican landscapers admit to seeing him home shopping around the San Diego area. He was not available for interview, but the nation will know soon enough who he'll sign with considering the season starts in a week.
1 comment:
this sux!!
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